Jocelyn Magnanimous
by The Rainbow Devowerer
Summary: "My name is Jocelyn Magnanimous, I'm 546 years old, I'm a Gargoyle, my favorite colour is orange and I like to make things go kaboom ... any questions?"
1. Trouble in Germany (before first book)

**Author's note: So this is the short story that I promised you! This one started BEFORE book 1, next one will be book 1 although not sure if she will meet Skulduggery and Valkyrie then...**

**Plus, I promise there will only be two extra OCs and then that's it! Plus, the other woman in here rarely appears and neither does the other OC, so don't worry about it!**

* * *

It was now winter in Germany's quaint countryside; the used-to-be green and lush meadows and farmlands were now coated with a thick layer of snow, like icing layered on a cake. The starry night sky was shut away from view because of the giant curtain of dark clouds; the ground still peppered slowly by them with new layers of snow. On the great expanse of snow and dead grass, there stood a random shed.

If it weren't for the fact that it looked broken down and not used in ages, people passing by might have been suspicious. However, the moss growing on most of it's sides and the gaping holes on the roof and door made it seem all the more old and less conspicuous; in addition to the aging wood and the ancient moldy scent around it.

Let us be honest here my dear readers, what passer by would bother to stop, take a look inside a broken shed and then climb down the wooden staircase that they would find if they opened the hatch door which was hidden under a rug? And what passer by would coincidentally happen to have a key card that would open a giant metal door that they would find if they climbed down the wooden staircase and continued to walk through a cement, spherical tunnel? Let us not forget the infinite amount of guards that this passer by would have to be brave enough to walk past if he opened the door with his coincidental key card, which would open into a strange underground facility with cement walls and floors.

Not many would admit into claiming to have met such a passer by and those who have... will most certainly have to nominate him the Oscar award for Countryside Curiosity.

However, such a person did commit all these acts and he wasn't merely passing by. In fact, as soon as the enemy found out he was in the building, they didn't hesitate to track him down and drag him into an interrogation room.

It was cold and had a foul rotten eggs smell hanging in the air like a soft haze. It had a simple squarecement design, much like the rest of the underground building. The ceiling was covered with pipes of all different shapes and sizes; every now and then one or two pipes would let out a burst of hissing steam that wouldn't last for long and the room would return to it's deathly silence. Well... a silence that would only last for a short while, before the repeated sharp sounds of knuckles meeting flesh would begin again.

The previous trespasser had his arms and legs tied up to a plastic chair with thick wire rope; a single harsh bright light was shining down on him, leaving ghastly shadows on his face. His ridiculously large jaw was bruised and cut from the amount of beatings it received, one of his eyes were shut and bruised ; his bleeding bulbous nose was crooked at a very awkward angle and his lips were puffy and bloody. The only part of his body that wasn't injured was his brown hair, that was hanging loose in shoulder-length greasy strands.

His "interrogator" was a large muscular man in a white unbuttoned dress shirt with large sweat spots. He had a short Mohawk and his knuckles were bloody from how long the "interrogation" was taking.

"_Genug!_"

The Mohawk interrogator looked over his shoulder and stood up from his punching stance. Out of the shadows came a rather stout, balding man in a black double breasted suit. The little remaining grey hair on his head was slicked back with obvious care and the same could be said for his chin puff beard. His blank, ice blue eyes looked like they were constantly squinting and his upper lip barely showed behind his thick bottom lip. His suit looked brand new and not a speck of dust or rubble was to be found; he also wore an expensive-looking golden watch on his wrist. Overall, he had the air of a firm businessman and not the clean type either...

Mr. Hokrux slowly took two steps forward, gazed at the slouching and bleeding figure before him and snorted.

"You know, for a woman as well endowed and tactical people claim Ms. Magnanimous to be," He commented "I didn't think that she would be foolish enough to send some unprofessional weakling straight to the lion's den."

He didn't have a thick German accent, but there was a hint of it when he spoke. The only reply he got was a choking sound which then lead to the captive coughing out blood. Hokrux's mouth tilted into a small amused smirk.

"Oder hat sie vergessen, was passiert ist, um die letzte Person, die zu tun ist meine Basis zu infiltrieren versucht?" He mockingly asked with a raised eyebrow.

How could anyone forget what happened?

Poor Lixon was a man who was foolish enough to ask Mr. Hokrux for a favor, but one thing lead to another and in the end costed the lives of his wife, son and all of his money. He tried to take revenge by blowing Hokrux up in his own home, but the one who provided him the explosives sold him out and Lixon was caught. The day after, people found a man's private part dangling from a thin rope under a bridge. It didn't take a genius to figure out who's private part it was and what message Mr. Hokrux was sending.

The big-jawed prisoner shivered from the memory and replied with a heaving glottal voice "T-the f-fire..."

Hokrux simply scoffed "Was merely a distraction set for the security while we made our escape."

There has been a vicious rumor going around that Jocelyn had developed a very powerful shielding mechanism that would revolutionize the magic world, only this rumor managed to spread to Germany and it's underworld syndicates and gangs. Another rumor spread there that Hokrux had his eye on Jocelyn's merchandise for quite some time and others say that the Diablerie and Necromancers have offered him a very good ransom if he could get his hands on the blueprints for the weapons.

"And now that we have managed to get our hands on the blueprints, they are being analysed by our top engineers as we speak," Hokrux continued while turning his back on the prisoner, who suddenly went completely silent. "And even if Jocelyn tried to take them back, she would soon find herself given the same treatment that was given to our dear Mr. Lixon."

Hokrux suddenly heard a sharp whooshing sound, followed by a painful grunt and the large thump of a body collapsing to the ground.

"But you're forgetting one thing Mr. Hokrux."

The stout man's eyes widened with shock before he whirled around and saw his interrogator lying on the floor with a sharp, metal needle-like bullet jammed messily through the side of his neck. Blood flew and dripped from the Mohawk man's lips as he desperately tried to pull out the shard with shaking hands, but soon was lying still with lifeless eyes staring up at the ceiling. Hokrux slowly looked up from his friend's profusely bleeding carotid artery and saw his suddenly female prisoner biting onto a weird pen-like tube while smirking at him with a mischievously evil twinkle in her eyes.

"I don't have a dick to lose"

Before Hokrux could yell for help, his captive shot another needle-like bullet at a pipe above him and a huge billow of scaldingly hot steamed burst onto him, burning his entire head and hands. Hokrux let out a painful screech as he held his burnt hands close to his body. He tried to stumble away from the bursting pipe, but some of the steam was shot into his eyes which left him wobbling around blindly.

"I wasn't foolish enough to go straight into the lion's den Hokrux" Jocelyn's voice echoed tauntingly around him.

Hokrux tried to open his tearful eyes to catch a glimpse of his prisoner, but by then the room was already filled with steam that continued to erupt from the pipe. Hokrux was now sweating like a pig; his eyes, while blinking out tears of pain, were now wide with panic and fear as he turned around left and right like a gazelle being circled by a lion.

When a shadow grew over him, he whirled around and gasped shockingly as he stumbled back and collapsed to the floor. Jocelyn stood there in all her bloody glory, the thick wire rope that held her captive was now held by her like a whip. She was now a 5 ft 8 woman with pixie cut brown hair and a long nose with rather big nostrils; the clothes from the previous man she was disguised as (a ragged and bloody two piece black suit with black dress trousers and a leather belt) were now very baggy on her.

"I just needed a little evidence." She grinned at him and held out her other hand which had a weird, small and bloody hole right on the palm. There were soft and short sounds of flesh being ripped apart and Hokrux whimpered with disgust and horror when he saw a strange, metallic device slowly grow through the hole. It looked like an old fashioned mini-microphone that was covered in blood with a magic symbol on the tip. Jocelyn bent her finger and gently touched the symbol before it lighted up. Suddenly, Hokrux heard his own boasting voice being played back to him:

_"And now that we have managed to get our hands on the blueprints, they are being analysed by our top engineers as we sp-"_  
_  
_Jocelyn tapped the symbol again and the light shut off along with Hokrux's voice recording.

Hokrux's face drained of all colour and he whimpered in fear when Jocelyn started to step slowly towards him, the wire rope in her hands now dangling threateningly towards him.

Jocelyn's grin widened into a cruel smirk and just before she could raise her arm, a sudden buzzing sound echoed around the room. Al Yankovic's "the Saga Begins" started to play and Jocelyn patted around her clothes in search of where it's coming from while Hokrux still sat frozen in a cowering position, too afraid to move an inch.

Jocelyn quirked an eyebrow confusedly and tilted her head slightly to the side when she couldn't find the device. Finally a look of realization dawned on her face; she lightly smacked her forehead while chuckling amusingly and pressed a finger against her ear.

"Hello, Magnanimous Speaking!" She cheerfully greeted with a large grin while dropping the wire rope and reaching up towards the metal bullet stuck into the pipe.

Hokrux finally broke out of his stupor and saw his chance to escape. While Jocelyn wasn't looking, he quickly spun around, tried to get up on his feet and run towards the door. However, before he could even place one foot on the ground, he felt a sharp and excruciating pain on his leg which made him howl in agony again. He looked back with tearful eyes and saw Jocelyn crouching down next to his leg while holding onto the needle-like bullet that was jammed through his calf. She smiled mischievously and wagged her finger at him teasingly, like she was scolding a child.

She stabbed the bullet deeper into his leg (earning another scream of torture and another spurt of blood) and held up a finger before replying pleasantly "Sorry sweetie, how much time did you say I have again?"

The sound of a squeaky voice started to project from...whatever device Jocelyn had plugged into her ear and Jocelyn simply nodded and hummed in confirmation as it continued to ramble on. However, it was what she said later on that made Hokrux freeze in terror:

"And all the bombs are in place?"

Bombs?! How did she ever place bombs in his building?! These were a few of the hundreds of questions that were running a million miles per second in Hokrux's head, along with: Will I be spared? and How long will it take for security to get here?! But all these thoughts were wiped out of his head when he felt Jocelyn sharply pull the bullet out of his leg, causing another tormenting wave of pain to course through his entire leg. By now, his entire body was shuddering from the agony and blood loss it was going through. Hokrux, now heaving with pain, flipped himself around (very slowly and painfully) until he was in a close enough sitting position and looked up again at Jocelyn while clutching his injured leg.

She stood up from her crouching position and Hokrux saw the wired rope now back in her free hand again, while the other was still pressed against her ear. She gave a cheerful farewell and ended the call before turning back to the pathetic and sniveling man cowering on the floor beneath her.

"Well Mr. Hokrux!" Jocelyn beamed, somehow making Hokrux even more terrified "It seems that I will take my leave soon, so I'll have to cut this meeting short."

It was only when Jocelyn's smile miniaturized into a malicious smirk and when she whipped the wire rope into both her hands, did Hokrux truly understand what Jocelyn meant by cutting this meeting short...

* * *

A man in a security guard uniform was walking through the cement corridors filled with various and similar metallic doors, only to find one left ajar...and a pool of blood leaking through the small gap.

He was stared in shock for a moment, as if not fully comprehending what it was and then quickly ran inside...only to clasp a hand to his mouth before he could puke. He quickly ran out again while bellowing into his handheld transceiver in German, probably to sound the alarm or to send reinforcements.

However, the door was left wide open for all to see the massacre inside: the headless corpse of Hokrux lying on the floor with limbs twisted at awkward angles; the messily cut neck spilling gallons of blood along with the open leg wound. Lying next to the pool of blood surrounding the victim was a long wire rope left on the floor in a loop, covered in the same liquid...

* * *

By now, the entire underground base was on full alert: giant masses of guards ran along corridors with all sorts of weapons, from guns and rifles to grenades and machetes. They were all barking commands at each other and searching through each and every room for the escaped prisoner. There was an alarm that rang very loudly throughout the entire building, which added to the effect of chaos and panic.

And where was Jocelyn while all of this was happening? Why, where all protagonists go to escape and where the antagonist would never bother to look: the ventilation shafts!

After Jocelyn managed to eliminate her target, she wrapped her jacket around the severed head and gathered all the equipment taken from her when they captured her. A simple stripping of the Mohawk man and analyzation of his body and she was able to shift into his form.

Fun fact about Jocelyn's shifting: it wasn't a simple matter of memorizing the person and turning into them. Since Jocelyn was only half shape-shifter (father was a sorcerer and mother was mortal), she had to analyse the person's body: their height, their muscle contour, etc. And then she'd be able to memorize the details and shift into him or her; Jocelyn thought this technique was more accurate than simply taking the average body shape of another person and applying another's face.

However, it wasn't long before someone found the body, but by then Jocelyn had already found a ventilation grill.

Jocelyn was currently crouching in a rather narrow shaft wearing a respirator mask and a brown leather satchel, waiting for the guards to pass by underneath her. To avoid crawling into a situation where the shaft would be too small for her to crawl through, she had to switch forms again. Instead of a different person of around the same age, Jocelyn was now a small girl who looked no older than eight with long strawberry blonde hair that was tied up messily in a low ponytail using a scrap of fabric ripped off of her dress shirt. The clothing she wore was very baggy on her little form, so Jocelyn ditched the trousers and jacket before she went in through the unscrewed entrance; the shirt looked more like a dress on her anyway.

Jocelyn started to crawl again when suddenly, she heard another person clambering in front of her.

Fun fact about ventilation shafts: they are nothing AT ALL like what they are interpreted as in the movies. For one thing, you can NEVER crawl silently in a ventilation shaft: the weight against the metal would create a huge ruckus that the people underneath would hear a mile away. Secondly, there is no such thing as a clean ventilation shaft. They are always covered with dirty greasy muck and thick bio hazardous dust (which explains Jocelyn's mask); The one Jocelyn was in was scattered with grime plastered along surfaces that seemed untouched for years.

Soon enough, a woman turned from a corner ahead of Jocelyn and clambered towards her with a peeved face.

"This has got to be the most cliche plan I have ever taken part in..." The woman grumbled.

She was a beautiful woman with slender shoulders and wide hips that kept getting stuck to the sides of the shafts. Her long purple-streaked black hair was tied back in a messy bun and her sweaty pink toned face was smudged with mascara that was messily wiped around her eyes. She was currently wearing a short black pencil skirt, a blue dress shirt with puffy short sleeves and black finger-less gloves.

Jocelyn merely grinned at her widely, her chubby kid dimples roughly shown through her mask "Well, it worked for Sean Flanery and Norman Reedus didn't it?"

Aurelia simply glared at the adorable child and growled "Just shut up and give me the map!"

Jocelyn's eye's widened and her grin shrinked into a nervous smile "Yes...um...about that..."

"... I swear Jocelyn, if you didn't bring it-!"

"No no, I did bring it! ... Well, sort of..." Jocelyn nervously chuckled through her mask before sitting cross legged on the shaft, metal creaking under her. She rummaged around the leather satchel and first handed to Aurelia another respirator mask, which she hurriedly put on. Next, Jocelyn yanked out a scruffy looking piece of paper and showed it to her friend proudly.

Jocelyn grinned at her friend "See? I told you I brought it!"

Aurelia stared with deadpanned eyes at the paper, "...Jo...That's not the map."

"What do you mean? Of course it's the map! Look, it even says at the top 'Map'! I know your mind tends to wander 'Lia, but I would've thought that you can still read!" Jocelyn scoffed at her and pointed at the top where it indeed said 'Map' with rough, squiggly handwriting. The map itself looked like it was drawn by a toddler with a black fountain pen: it seemed to be the schematics of the ventilation shafts of the underground base, but simplified to a bunch of black, messy lines that eventually lead to the surface with a cute doodle of a smiley face car waiting for them. The paper was very wrinkled and there were blotches of ink everywhere.

"Jo..." Aurelia started, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose while she mentally counted to ten. "That is not THE map, that is A map. A week before we left, I left you THE map and even specifically told you 'this is THE map, make sure to memorize it'. Please explain to me how that translated to 'replace this map with a shitty copy and don't forget the stickers'?!"

By now, Aurelia was almost yelling and heaving, her eyes narrowed into glaring slits of fury. True enough, the map had flower stickers in both top corners while the bottom two had smiley face stickers and...was that glitter glue?!

Jocelyn shushed her with her finger on her lips, "Sh! We're still in an enemy base you know! Now about the map...I know you said to memorize it, but...it was just such an ugly map! I mean, did you see the amount of lines on it?! You'd think it was designed by a Zebra wearing a kilt scarf or something! And do NOT get me started on the hideous shade of green it had! Plus, certain circumstances arose which lead me to leaving the memorization until the very last day. BUT! Me being the tactful and dexterous being of awesome that I am, I decided to draw a replica of the map which I conjectured would ensure to speed up the 'memorization' process!"

"..."

A rather awkward silence passed for a moment, with Aurelia staring at Jocelyn with a deadpanned expression and Jocelyn simply sitting there with a frozen (and possibly forced) smile until Aurelia broke it:

"You lost it didn't you?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Suddenly, a bunch of bullets ripped through the gap between the two women.

"And the guards found us didn't they?"

"It would seem so."

* * *

"WHICH WAY NOW?!"

The two women (or in this case, the woman and child) were now crawling for their lives, with Aurelia crawling up front while Jocelyn was behind her clutching the pathetic excuse of a map and giving directions. Aurelia flung fire at the adversaries below while Jocelyn dropped a stick grenade (Model 24 Stielhandgranate to be exact_) _to slow them down. After a rather painful scolding punch from Jocelyn's friend ("DON'T JUST THROW YOUR STUPID BOMBS AROUND IN AN UNDERGROUND FACILITY!"), the two hurriedly scuffled away and now not far from their destination.

Jocelyn looked at her scribble-y map and barked through her mask "Right turn! There should be a tunnel right above us!"

And true to her word, there was a tunnel leading up to the surface right above them. Both looked up and saw a fan blowing out the unclean back to the surface. Shortly after, a small shadow came over the fan and something was suddenly jammed into one of its blades. Aurelia flinched from how loud the screeching sound of the halting fan blades were against the narrow walls of the shaft; Jocelyn simply grinned widely with relief. That relief didn't last for long however when both women heard sharp German bellows a few yards behind them.

"They're going to reach us by the time we blow up the top!" Aurelia warned through her mask, her brown eyes starting to widen in panic.

Jocelyn looked over her shoulder, as if she could see the guards coming through the shafts. She suddenly grinned through her mask.

"Well, guess we're gonna have to go with plan B!" Jocelyn chirped as she threw her satchel and the jacket-wrapped head to her surprised friend.

Aurelia stared at her with a confused face "B? What plan B? We didn't agree on a plan B!"

"Oh, don't worry. I managed to agreed on a plan B around...three seconds ago."

"What the- Then whatever you have in mind doesn't count as a plan B! We stick to the original plan and I'll stay behind and stall 'em!"

Suddenly, a thick rope was dangling in between their faces. Aurelia looked up and found that the rope continued all the way to the top where it was slipped in between the fan blades.

"Look, we'll continue this later, but right now we have to go before-"

Aurelia looked in front of her only to find Jocelyn no longer there. She felt her eye twitch before she growled frustratingly and loudly before she yanked at the rope and started to climb it. As soon as she reached the top where a knot was tied, she grasped her hand on top of it and used the free one to rummage around in the satchel hanging from her shoulder. Soon enough, Aurelia found exactly what she was looking for: it looked like a smaller, symbol-covered version of a dynamite, only it was coloured in a shade of baby blue and the symbols glowed with a small green light; the dynamite was probably the size of a pinky.

The sound of a hand watch alarm went off and Aurelia looked at her wrist to see how much time remained. The watch was now counting down from five minutes before the explosives went off. Aurelia's palms started to sweat. She hurriedly stuck the small blue dynamite onto the grilling in front of the fan (the dynamite had tac on the back), reached into the back pocket of her skirt and took out a small piece of chalk. Then she used it to draw a circle on the metal border surrounding the fan before she quickly scrambled down the rope, her breaths now coming out in labored, panicking heaves through her mask. Aurelia wasn't as fit as her shape-shifting friend; she was a lover, not a fighter!

The elemental looked up towards the circle, now glowing in the same colour as the dynamite. She clicked her fingers, sparking up a flame, and hurled it towards the fan before quickly ducking her head. The dynamite let out an explosion the size of the circle Aurelia drew and blew up the fan and the grilling. Unfortunately, Aurelia didn't take into account of the rope being burnt once the dynamite went off. Hence the sudden fall of our elemental.

She grumbled and winced at the pain she felt on the back of her head and backside. She looked back up again; the shaft was clear of any obstacles and it showed a clear view of the night sky above.

Aurelia grumbled again, only this time it contained the odd foul word or two, and looked down at her watch that was now counting down from three minutes.

"Guess I have no choice..." She sighed and looked depressingly at her black, fingerless gloves that were already filthy from the grime that stuck to the shaft walls. She started to crawl up the shaft, each foot sticking to the opposite walls while her hands helped to shuffle her forwards.

Soon enough, Aurelia finally managed to flop herself onto the sweet, sweet ground. She was laying on her back on the snow, her chest rising up and down rapidly with each gasping breath she took. By now, Aurelia looked like a ridiculous pink, sweaty human fish gulping for air with a mascara-smeared face.

"Ms. Beguile, aren't the explosives about to go off any moment now?" a monotone voice suddenly spoke.

Aurelia flinched and sat up, ready to fire at any possible enemy before letting out a relieved breath at who it was.

Standing in front of a black SUV, was a boy wearing a tiger onesie. He had extremely curly Burgundy blush hair (just straight enough to not be an afro) with one side tied up in a black and white striped bow. He skin was completely white, it didn't seem to have a tone at all and his face was peppered with a ridiculous amount of freckles. His eyes were a strange shade of silver with dashes of liquid gold in them.

"Yes Happy, that's why I'm lying on the floor heaving my arse off!" Aurelia growled before scrambling up to her feet and ran towards the SUV, dragging Happy by the hand with her after handing him the jacket-covered head.

Happy's face had a bored and neutral expression as he replied again with a monotone voice "Ah, Mama did say that sarcasm was one of your annoying habits. That and breathing."

"Yeah well, I'm not the one who's about to be blown to kingdom come." Aurelia drawled as she opened the side door of the SUV and shoved the boy inside before sliding into the driver's seat, not even bothering with the seat belt as she turned the car on and stepped on the gas pedal as hard as she could.

Considering they were stuck in the middle of nowhere and all the fields were covered in a thick layer of snow, Aurelia had only one destination on mind: to get as far away from the base as possible before the inevitable would happen. After the previous area was soon out of sight, Aurelia looked down at her wrist watch that was now counting down the last few seconds:

**5...**

Aurelia clutched onto the wheel tigher...

**4...**

Happy sat upright onto his seat...

**3...**

She looked at her rear-view mirror at the previous hill they were on...

**2...**

Happy put on his seat belt...

**1...**

Aurelia saw a flash of black came out of the hill...

**Time's Up! Time's Up! Time's U-**

** ~KABOOM!~**

* * *

Aurelia was lounging on the hood of the SUV while smoking on a cigarette, while Happy sat on the snow in front of the SUV. He found make-up inside Aurelia's satchel and decided to play makeover with Hokrux's head. Aurelia's shirt was knotted and showed off her midriff and her pencil skirt showed off her luscious crossed legs.

She was calmly taking a smoke, until something huge suddenly crashed in front of them, making both Aurelia and Happy jump in shock.

A creature that was 8 ft tall stood nude before them with glowing red, cracking grey rock skin that glistened in the pale moon light. It had long, scruffy black hair that hung in dreadlocks that reached below it's shoulders. It's skin looked like it was bursting with muscle and the scraps of burnt clothing that hung from it's shoulder's failed to hide the abs it also had. It had long dark grey nails that looked like claws and it's feet was bird shaped with three toes and large dark grey talons. The most prominent feature were its large, grotesque, bat-like wings that were spread wide; their colour was of the same shade as the grey, rocky skin of the creature and they were large enough to cover the entire SUV! From the subtle curves this creature had and its breasts, it seemed to be female and it had long thick horns that were shaped like a gazelles and grew from it's forehead.

The creature lifted it's head to reveal a hollow and narrow face with cheekbones that threatened to jut out through its skin. It didn't have a nose, instead it had two snake like slits. It's mouth was set into a firm line and it had fangs that slipped through it's thin, black lips. It didn't have any eyebrows and its eyes were two glowing orbs of Duke blue with no pupils.

Jocelyn's black lips spread into a devil-like grin, showing off her blood covered fangs.

"Terribly sorry I'm late."


	2. I Hate Yellow

The poor, tiger onesie wearing victim sat in the slightly uncomfortable seat of the Nissan truck, praying to any deity above that all this would disappear. The pale blue truck was parked besides a park with the usual playground set up; a large slide, a jungle gym and the usual set of swings. He could hear the muffles sounds of squealing children outside, making his mechanical circulatory system stagger in anxiety. His usually impassive, half-closed eyes were now a tiny millimeter or two wider than usual and if one looked closely, tiny golden oil droplets of sweat could be seen clinging onto the frightened child's forehead. His heart, or whatever was in his mechanical system that replaced it, was beating at a hundred miles every minute and every beat sounded like a repetitive thunderclap: ba-bum! Ba-Bum! BA - BUM! His white-as-sheets hands clung almost painfully to the small flimsy bouquet of daisies, the flowers now were his only life-line in this desolate and despondent situation. ... That and what his Mama thought was his 'unique purple hair charm'. Happy quickly whirled around in his seat and shook his head repeatedly at the driver, his chubby freckled cheeks almost seemed to be jiggling from side to side from the movement.

"Mama, I don't think I can do this..." Happy quickly jumbled out, his usual flat-toned voice didn't help to conceal the panic that was clear deep, deep down in his silver eyes.

The driver in question turned to look at him with a 'could-I-care-less' look while pulling out a cherry red lollipop from her mouth. She appeared to be a woman in her mid thirties with a body shape that didn't really suggest an active lifestyle; her hips were wide enough to cover the entire seat and her thick legs barely managed to fit into the leg room of the driver's seat. She had ginger hair that curled in a scruffy kind of way and pale blue eyes that sank behind dark eye bags; her lips were thin and wide enough to almost give the impression of a small cynical smile.

Jocelyn sighed and placed the lollipop on top of the rapper in a nearby ashtray sitting on the dashboard, "Happy, I would really love to help you out of this situation, I really would! And the reason I can't do so with the utmost amount of grief is because...well, I don't know how to break this to you gently, but I loath your girlfriend."

Happy's only response was to blink very slowly before letting out a strange, robotic sound that almost sounded akin to whining. He looked out the window for a moment, as if checking if the enemy has come within the vicinity or not, and then went back to staring (or rather colourlessly glaring) at his Mama.

"But...by my calculations, my lack of imperative social and charismatic experience could result in a 33.76899999% chance of failure which could lead to imminent death by evisceration and laceration. In an impending crisis such as this where such vitriolic acts can ensue, surely as a legal guardian you would not send me out into the battlefield without some form of weaponry!" Happy babbled while his usually calm and monotone voice stuttered on a word or two, his hands counting down the possibilities of his own demise as he looked up at his mum with eyes that screamed for mercy (although the rest of his facial features remained as neutral as Switzerland).

Jocelyn merely quirked an eyebrow and tried with all her might not to smirk in amusement. _Don't laugh! _She stubbornly grunted to herself, _we'll make him feel even shittier if we laugh. _Jocelyn slowly turned her plump body towards Happy even further and placed one of her hands on his shoulder as a gesture of support, the other still on the wheel.

"First of all, I do believe that I will get locked up for life not only by the Sanctuary, but also by the mortal government if ANYBODY found out I gave a child a hand grenade, albeit how...'professionally' he can throw it," Jocelyn deadpanned, remembering the last time she accidentally left him alone in a room with an old M67 grenade... Thank the heavens it wasn't the bathroom that exploded at least, or else there would've been a REAL mess. She continued while trying to put on a soothing parental voice (and failing), "Second of all, I am sure that she will not burn you to death for not satisfying any needs she may present. And why wouldn't you sweetie? You two are perfect for each other! You're a socially awkward fire-proof bionic creature incapable of presenting any emotion...or judging people's appearances and she's an annoying fire-breathing dragonoid who is ridiculously self-conscious about her looks!"

Happy simply continued to stare at her with lips set into a firm line, hoping that somehow he could drill the idea of submission into her head, before he finally commented with a heavy breath (which is closest he can get to a sigh) "I believe this is the part when as a loving predecessor, you demand me to get my gluteal out of this car before you force me out after I make my effortless attempts to dissuade you?"

"You know me too well sweetie!" Jocelyn chirped with a bright grin and gave him a final pat on the shoulder before taking off his seat belt for him. Happy let out another heavy breath and slumped slightly in his seat while letting the bouquet droop in his hands.

"Are you not at least going to give me any form of guidance?" Happy mumbled out hopefully in his flat voice, his eyes betraying his neutral facade and sneaked a peak up at his mama.

Jocelyn merely snorted and replied dryly, "Happy, when in both our lifetimes have I EVER been capable of guidance? I can't even guide my own piss into the toilet sometimes!" Her voice barely reached Happy over the sound of the truck's engine roaring to life again.

If Happy could control his facial contours, it would've been set in a very disgusted and horrified expression. "Thank you for that interesting fact that shall certainly help me in the foreseeable future." Although, he knew his mama was probably right about it being best she didn't provide him with any advice.

Jocelyn's smile didn't dim any further though as she quickly put on her seat belt. She leaned over the slumping boy and opened the door for him, still trying to comfort him with her unusual cat-like grin "Anytime old chap!" She replied with a ridiculously posh British accent, before fluttering her fingers at him with a 'shoo-ing' motion. "Now off you pop!"

Jocelyn turned her head to look straight ahead, pretending not to hear Happy grumbling something about women and how he wasn't able to shoot lasers at them as he shuffled out the car and waddled dejectedly away. Jocelyn's smile eventually faded and her eyes started to narrow as she sneaked a glance to the rear view mirror; she adjusted it until she caught sight of Happy walking awkwardly towards their target: a blonde girl with pigtails sitting on the park swings, wearing a pink skirt and a frilly yellow summer shirt. Happy paused on his journey to his impending doom to turn around and give one last pleading look at the truck, only to see Jocelyn glare and raise a threatening eyebrow at him. _I swear if he runs away like last time... _She thought threateningly, but fortunately she felt her lips quirk at the sides when she saw the girl suddenly shoot out from her swing to clutch the poor boy into a vice-like hug, letting out an annoying excited girly squeal. Jocelyn just barely managed to contain her snort when she caught sight of the boy's widened and panicked eyes as he mouthed towards her _'Help Me'_; of course, Jocelyn being the responsible adult that she was, did the sensible thing and simply waved at Happy as she drove away.

"And now..." Jocelyn muttered out-loud; she put the cherry red lollipop back into her mouth before grinning mischievously, showing off her rather yellow teeth "Time for the real fun to begin..."

And on that note, Jocelyn leaned forward and turned on the Radio; she switched stations until she found a random one playing Rupert Holmes's '(Escape) The Pina Colada Song' before she drove on while humming to the song.

* * *

Jocelyn hated the colour yellow.

She really didn't know why, she just did. You know how you sometimes just hate a certain taste or smell and you don't know why but you just have a feeling that you'll never like it? For Jocelyn, a similar example would be how she would always hate the smell and taste of pineapple. What a disgusting fruit. How it managed to end up diluting the holy surfaces of pizza dishes she would never know. It didn't help that the inside of the disgusting creation just happened to be Yellow. She and the colour had a complicated relationship; she hated how it just screeched for your attention with its ridiculously bright shade. She hated how annoying blonde bimbos tried to die their hair in its most ridiculous brightness. She hated how the name of an ice cream flavor would sound so delicious and yet when she looked at its disgusting shade of Yellow, she would never be able to discover its welcoming embrace of rich flavors because of its cruel nature: of being Yellow.

So, it wasn't a big surprise when said Jocelyn was standing outside the Cheesecake Factory in the pouring rain with a very sour expression while wearing a bright yellow raincoat over her corpulent body, the hood pulled up flimsily over her face. It was bad enough that it randomly started to rain just when she got to her rendez-vous location, now she had to wear THIS stupid thing; which was the only source of protection from the rain that she could find in the car... maybe it was love from Happy... Jocelyn flicked a few raindrops from her eyelashes and fringe in a similar fashion to that of an animal with fur and blew out a short and irritated raspberry.

She could understand why Thames Chabon would like to meet her in this paticular area; it was crowded and full of civilians... more specifically, _innocent_ civilians. Aurelia warned her that if she wanted to get on Valkyrie's good side, she would have to start by applying the 'morality compass' more often into her decisions and try restricting from now on her... 'nocturnal instincts'. She felt herself pout just from the thought. Jocelyn wouldn't really put herself in comparison to the other psycho villains out there when it came to killing. It was just that if the situation arose for it, she wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger. Or in her case, contort her fingers into her usual claws to rip through her opponent's arteries. And besides, what would happen if people in her spheres of influence found out that she has gained morality?! Oh she would never hear the end of it. But... she was out for vengeance. And the quickest short cut for her goal was through Valkyrie Cain. After sniffing around here and there from listening to gossip and sneaking a few peeks at some official documents, Jocelyn found out about Cain and her mentor Skulduggery Pleasant's recent escapades. Including the incident in which the unfortunate skeletal detective was dragged into the realm of the faceless ones. Which set the situation perfectly for Jocelyn when she's also heard about Valkyrie's desperate and thorough search for the detective's skull.

Speaking of which, Jocelyn felt her phone vibrate through her rain coat jacket and flipped open the screen to find a text message that read: _'Look at the window seat directly behind you. Ask for a Mr. Johnson.' _Jocelyn felt a shiver go through her spine; whether it was from nerves or from excitement, she didn't know but she felt herself nervously titter and smirk all the same. She quickly tried to smother the uplift of her lips however, aware that now was not the time to wear her ridiculous grins, and did as the text message instructed.

Sure enough, there was Thames Chabon sitting next to the window in completely casual clothing, a glass of iced tea in one hand and a phone in the other. He raised his glass at her and briefly smiled, gesturing her to join him. Jocelyn raised an eyebrow at him, trying to put on a neutral, deal-making facade and walked towards the entrance of the restaurant. She probably looked stupid.

...

Stupid yellow raincoat's fault it was.

Jocelyn could have simply just not bothered with all this trouble and risked coming directly to Valkyrie and convince her to take her into her little circles. However... she knew that after coming this far, she couldn't take any risks. For one thing, she knew that if she was Valkyrie, she definitely wouldn't have listened to some mad lady's rambling and continue on her search for her beloved companion. And so, she decided to take the long route and go directly for what Valkyrie was looking for. The skull.

Did this mean Jocelyn was this desperate for her quest for vengeance to pay a ridiculous amount of money for a skull? Definitely. Did this mean that she actually believed that Skulduggery could be retrieved? God no. But desperate times called for desperate measures and honestly, Skulduggery's revival was simply a bonus for her if it did succeed. That way she could have TWO detectives help her with her goals to get closer to her target.

After she spoke with the waitress to indeed ask about a Mr. Johnson, she eventually found herself sitting across the man himself. Unconsciously, she glanced at the suitcase that was placed on the seat next to him.

"Soooo..." Jocelyn slowly drawled out, "I'm gonna go ahead and assume that that case isn't just for show?"

Chabon smiled in a professional manner and shrugged "That depends on whether or not you have brought the money."

Jocelyn smiled back, albeit a little peeved at not being able to see the skull first, and bent sideways on her seat to retrieve a big duffle bag that she dropped down on her way to her seat. She plopped it on the table and opened the zip to show the 'green' inside. Chabon raised an eyebrow at her rather unprofessional behavior, but peeked inside the bag all the same. He felt his lips threatening to spread into a victorious smirk, but he kept it down all the same. There really was no better feeling than leaving a room with his riches in his hands after a successful trade. It was what inspired Chabon to continue his 'business' within the magic realm.

"It's a pleasure doing business with you Ms. Magnanimous," Chabon smirked at her, his hand reaching for the bag. However, just before his fingers could grap onto the handle, Jocelyn snatched the bag away from him and smirked cheekily.

"Why don't I see the merchandise first before we finish off this little date here?" She grinned at him, although there was a threatening gleam in her eyes as she tucked away the duffle bag somewhere behind her. Chabon raised an eyebrow at that and sighed with a roll of his eyes; typical.

Chabon all the same took the suitcase by the handle and placed it on the table, giving his client a mockingly stern glare. "This is not how it works Ms. Magnanimous and you of all people should know that." He sighed, as if he explained this to her a million times before. Technically he's already explained this a million times, just to different customers who each demanded to see the merchandise before the payment. However, each time he did explain again, it never failed to end the deal with a lovely success.

Jocelyn still smiled all the same and if anything, the grin just widened at his remark, making a double chin appear. "As much as I wanna do things your way Mr. Chabon, I also want to make sure that if you do double cross me, I can just spill out your intestines right now rather than going through the trouble of tracking you down and _then_ doing it." And Chabon knew that she wasn't joking; it was a commonly known fact that when a gargoyle (whether half formed or fully formed matters not) makes a threat, it is the equivalent of them making a promise. And Chabon wasn't sure if he really wanted to test out that promise today... especially with his intestines on the line.

Chabon subtly licked his lips and placed his hand on the case, awaiting the familiar sound of the locks opening, "You know, most people do not make open threats of carnage in the middle of a public restaurant with a giant window right next to them while disguised as an obese housewife."

Jocelyn shrugged, "Most people don't advertise a skull worth more than a Porsche 911."

"Touché."

Chabon opened the case and lifted the lid just wide enough for her to see the skull; it sat in the middle of the case on top of a plush red velvet fabric. Jocelyn couldn't really make any assumptions on whether or not it was fake; for one thing, it just looked like any old skull and for another, she didn't even know what the freakin' heck this Skulduggery guy looked like! ... She blamed it on the stupid yellow raincoat. Jocelyn could have sworn that the blasted piece of clothing was causing a vein to protrude from her forehead. Destroying freakin' brain cells with it's radiation of stupidity every second she wears it it does! Before she could even ponder back to the subject of the skull, Chabon snapped the case shut and tucked it back onto the chair next to him.

"I think I have met your demands for now Ms. Magnanimous," Chabon grunted and folded his hands on the table surface, "Now may I please receive my payment before I change my mind?"

Jocelyn stared at him for a moment in a blank stare, almost looking like she was blanking out and not to mention making Chabon feel slightly uncomfortable. This was why he preferred making dealings with people within his own race for crying out loud! Although in his... line of work, he supposed that such situations would be unavoidable. She then suddenly smiled at him again and plopped the suitcase back onto the table surface, Chabon failed to not notice how his breathing suddenly felt less constricted and he hoped that Jocelyn didn't notice. It looked like she was about to open her mouth again to say something when suddenly...

Jocelyn felt a ten thousand ton truck slam into the right side of her FUCKING SKULL!

* * *

Jocelyn didn't know how it happened. She didn't know who made it happen. Heck, she didn't even know what the FUCK WAS GOING ON!

All she remembered was her finally finishing off towards the end of the deal when suddenly the window slams right next to her and something collides onto her, making her crash into god knows how many people and all the way to the other side of the restaurant! And as if the fact that half her skull was caved into itself like a smashed cherry pie in a carnival wasn't bad enough, whatever collided into her was fast enough to slam her to the ground and start continuously beat the crap out of her freakin' face! Which was what resulted in her broken nose and swollen eye she assumed... After managing to capture one of his punches within her sharp teeth (and she enjoyed every second of her captive's painful howls), she managed to through him off of her as far as she could as she struggled to get her bearings; the torn skin of the person's hands was dangling in her clutched teeth and after she gave it a taste, she concluded that it was human. Probably an adept from the lingering magic she could taste within the blood. However, before she could turn towards the bastard to deliver him the same loving treatment he provided for her, she felt a shot go through the side of her body. She staggered for a bit, wheezed silently in pain as she clenched her eyes shut and felt another three shots go through her: her pelvis; her knee, making her collapse to the ground; and luckily the last one grazed the front of her neck, making a tiny slit of blood pool out.

And finally, that was how she found herself lying in a pool of her own blood, choking and coughing out it out in a dark alleyway behind a restaurant with destroyed crates and debris.

Her sensitive ears caught the familiar 'clickity-clack' sound of heels heading through the restaurant's tiled floor, crushing on shattered pieces of glass and now walking towards her face on the concrete floor. They were nice, polished black leather heels. From Jocelyn's passed experiences, women only wear black heels if they are; A. out on a date and expecting a little something, B. They were 18 or below and C. They are government officials in suits. C rarely happened due to the fact that Jocelyn only saw it happen in movies, however due to the current situation, she was willing to believe option C for now. She ignored the searing pain that pierced through her neck and tried to look up to the son of a bitch that she just _knew_ was smirking right now.

It took her a few humiliating grunts, but when she finally reached a sufficient sight range, she was able to deduce that the son of a bitch was in fact a 'daughter'. The woman had dark hair, cut short at the neck. ... Jocelyn thought that she looked weird. Like something out of a Quentin Tarantino film. Only without the Sam L Jackson awesome bits, just y'know... the weird ones.

The woman stared down at her with her multicoloured eyes, and of course, with a hint of a smirk on her face. She was holding something that looked akin to a rocket launcher on her shoulder, only it looked like it was also mixed with a sub-machine gun. Davina scanned Jocelyn's haggard and broken plump body with a mocking sympathetic look, which only served to fuel Jocelyn's instinctive anger even further; oh, she could already feel her fangs start to protrude and her bones aching for her to explode to their natural _power..._

"Oh you poor thing..." Davina tutted, shaking her head as if she caught Ms. Magnanimous with her hand in the cookie jar, "If only you didn't retaliate and maybe we could have just settled this like mature adults. And yet, you decided to create for the Sanctuary and the innocent civilians of the mortal world a lot of damage. But then again," Davina tilted her head tauntingly at her and Jocelyn could have sworn with growing ire that her smirk just grew, "You _gargoyles_ were always the destructive type. A shame really, but you were always great for sport."

'_Sadistic bitch..._' was all that was roaring in Jocelyn's head, along with a few other profanities and other imaginative scenarios involving her, a giant chainsaw and Davina Marr's innards.

"I've got to hand it to you though, it was clever using your ... _orphan _as a distraction with my niece," Davina shrugged, dropping the rocket launcher weapon behind her with a big '_clank_' before taking out a 9mm glock from her suit jacket; she started loading the threatening weapon with bullets that she took out from her other hand, each insert setting off a loud '_cu-chick_' sound. "However, I'm going to have to end this little game now. I'm assuming you have realized by now that this is the part where I relieve the skull from your possession?"

Jocelyn felt her lips lift up into a dark humored smirk, "Uh, no, actually I think this is the part where I threaten you."

_Bang!_

Jocelyn let out a sharp shout of pain, feeling another bullet bury itself through the beginning of her diaphragm. She curled in on herself even more, her other hand was now burying to the tattered holes within her skin, desperately trying to keep the blood in; her forehead crushed against the concrete floor while her eyes were shut again from the attempt at not voicing her pain. Her body did naturally repair itself at a faster rate than humans, but if that pathetic excuse of a detective kept shooting holes into her, Jocelyn had a feeling she wouldn't be able to rely on her healing ability for long; especially since her body decided to morph into this disgusting lump of fat today of all days!

"_'Threaten'_ you say?" She heard Davina mockingly repeat in her annoying Boston accent, "Need I remind you who's sniveling and cowering on the ground right now, bleeding to death like a pig in a meat market Ms. Magnanimous? On top of the fact that I'm the one with the suitcase and holding the gun of course with a bullet aimed at your head."

When Davina didn't hear a reply from Jocelyn, she let out a final breath and checked her watch. She set up her pistol again, aimed it right where Jocelyn's heart would be and readied her finger to pull on the trigger. Suddenly, Davina heard a very chilling, most disturbing and terrifying sound she had ever heard in her entire life: Jocelyn... was laughing.

At first it started as a nervous sounding titter; then it grew to a very disturbing chuckle, until it finally rose to a roaring and horrifying laugh. The very volume of it managed to muffle the sounds of the sirens blaring outside the alleyway of the restaurant; the sheer vigor of it made Jocelyn's entire frame shake and shudder. The worst part of it, was the sound of the laugh; it didn't sound like a laugh that would come out of a 40 year old women's vocal chords. It sounded like the hysterical cachinnations of a raving mad man, who would be frothing at the mouth at this point; Davina could have sworn there was another, lower pitched voice blended within the frantic roars, making the sound seem even more...unnatural. She didn't see any froth, but Davina could've sworn that she saw the flash of a mad, bloodshot eye through the shuddering movements of Jocelyn's laughing figure.

Finally, when Jocelyn's laughter died down to minor-convulsive giggles, Davina heard her chuckle "When will you people ever learn?"

Jocelyn lifted her head up to glare her dark, glowing blue, bloodshot eyes into Davina's multicoloured ones with a sickening grin; sending a traitorous shiver of... anxiety to run through Davina's body, like bucket of ice cold water was slashed within her. "Do you guys honestly think I give two shits whether I live or die? I was born into a creature of contortion and torture; everyday that I live is awaiting the excitement of whether or not someone will actually be able to rip whatever is left of my brains out of my skull and incinerate it into ash. The only thing I've got to live for is my next pay day after delivering a head or two and wondering how far I can go with each and every assassination."

By now, Davina could see red spit flying through Jocelyn's puffed up lips from her passionate ravings. Davina tried to stare down at her coolly and play off as if Jocelyn's words had no effect on her, but all the same, she placed the hand holding the glock behind her leg just in case it was shaking in any way.

"And let's not forget the fact that as much as you love me Marsy, you won't pull that trigger." Jocelyn spat a glob of spit and blood onto a trash can nearby. She paused for a moment to consider her words and then admittedly shrugged. "At least, not at my skull you won't."

Davina raised an eyebrow at her, partly from her comment and partly due to her annoying sudden nickname. She shot another bullet into Jocelyn's shoulder, making her collapse further into the ground before drawling, "Oh? And what makes you say that?"

Jocelyn's grin widened into something too savage and too cruel to be considered a smile anymore. "Because you need me. You see Marsy, we are now at a state at which is commonly labeled the 'Prisoner's Dilemma'. Sure, you can go ahead and do the world a favor by finally killing me off but really, are you willing to take the risks that follow after? Because you and I both know that there are _other_ interested parties who would hate for my sudden absence to occur."

Both women glared at each other; one in callous amusement and the other in condescending annoyance. Davina still hadn't raised the gun, which told Jocelyn that even though the american didn't show it, she was actually considering what Jocelyn pointed out. Jocelyn knew that she was taking a risk by doing this; she was now officially sending off a flare to her enemies by letting them know that she knew about them, which meant that her advantage of having the element of surprise was officially crossed off. Although, there was still that slim chance of Davina Marr possibly not having to do with whom Jocelyn was after, she seriously doubted it by now. Still, at least now this left her the chance of surviving; even though it was _extremely_ low.

Davina Marr finally felt herself let out a huff of irritated air through her nose and shot another bullet at where Jocelyn's heart approximately was; as annoying as it was to admit it, Davina's hand shivered for a moment while she pulled the trigger, making her meticulous aim slightly off. Jocelyn finally couldn't hold herself up any longer and collapsed to the ground completely.

"Go to hell." Jocelyn heard Davina mutter with a growling voice, before she strutted off and picked up the suitcase with the skull nearby. Jocelyn felt her brow scrunch in irritation when she heard her pick up the suitcase, along with the 'clickity-clack sounds of Marr's heels quietening with every step.

However, she allowed herself a tiny smile to grace her lips when she replied back smugly "Been there and came back laughing sweetheart."

Although Jocelyn couldn't see it, Davina looked back over her shoulder and smiled wrily as she replied "Really? I never would have guessed, what with your obvious sense of camouflage with that raincoat." And with that, Davina walked out of the alleyway and into the harsh brightness behind Jocelyn, her crouching figure casting a dark and cowering shadow against the harsh brick wall.

Jocelyn felt her smile drop completely into a rageful scowl. That was the last straw.

Jocelyn didn't care how it would happen, she didn't care who it would happen to, but she swore, that someone was going to be _fucking dead. _And she knew that she definitely wanted to start with ripping off that pathetic excuse of a detective's head off her shoulders. But since she couldn't do that now, she was going to have to use another alternative stress reliever. She felt herself glare at her blood coated raincoat. Yeah, she'll just start with tearing that apart... as soon as she called for help... and maybe after she got rid of the bullets inside her body. Because if there was one thing that hasn't changed at all since the beginning of this mess, Jocelyn was sure there was just one.

She still _fucking_ hated the colour yellow.

* * *

**Author: Plz read and review! It makes my entire day! As you can see, I am officially introducing my OC into the Skulduggery Pleasant series, but at the 4th book: Dark Days. I just thought that it was the perfect way to blend her into the storyline, rather than have her just suddenly there as an inconvenience. Hopefully I'll be able to continue this series, but we'll see if people like it enough for the trouble. Warning: update timings are shaky. Meaning I can go from two weeks and update from two years and an update. I don't mean to sound lazy, it's just that this story isn't a top priority. Anywho, I hope you guys can still tolerate my character and I hope you can enjoy my writing so far. If not, do not hesitate to point out any flaws. **

**Hope to see ya soon!**


	3. Sneak Peak

Jocelyn folded her arms and stared with irritable, narrow eyes at the Skeleton looking at her from the other side of the room. Jocelyn didn't really hate him already, but she couldn't really say that she liked him either. And it didn't help that his entire presence looked unnatural; he was just standing there, upright! In a impeccably neat pinstripe suit and a... what was the adjective kids used nowadays? Sraggy? Yeah, and a sraggy-ass matching hat sitting on top of his skull tilted to the side just a tiny bit, and if anything, only suited to make him look even more sraggy.

The other members of the room just held their breath, looking at the two staring at each other. Jocelyn ignored them though and folded her arms grumpily while cocking out her hip to the side; her bottom lip jut out into a small annoyed pout.

"Soooo..." Jocelyn drawled out, "It looks like I will be joining you guys."

"So it would seem." Skulduggery said with the utmost reluctance; Jocelyn tried not to flinch when she saw his jaw move in time with his voice. She had a feeling she wouldn't get used to that anytime soon.

Again, another tense awkward silence passed by.

"Y'know," Jocelyn suddenly spoke up again, raising an eyebrow, "fifteen minutes ago, you just kicked me in the face."

"Nineteen minutes actually," Skulduggery corrected, fixing an invisible fold on his sleeve, "And yes, so I did."

"...you should apologize."

"So I should."

By now, both of Jocelyn's eyebrows were raised and her annoyed pout just dunked into a scowl. "Yeaahh, I have a feeling that I won't like you."

Skulduggery bowed his head a little towards her as if to acknowledge her point and brightly replied "Oh I can assure you, the feeling is mutual."

* * *

**Author: Yeaahhh... I have GCSEs on the horizon and I kinda felt guilty not uploading in a while, so here's a sneak peak of what's _possiiblly_ about to come the next time around when I post the next few chapters. X3 **


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